1. I'm not tired (repeat ad infinitum)
2. It's hard to sleep.
3. The wall is scary. It's too red.
4. The ceiling is scary. (Not very subtle hints of wanting a rainbow ceiling are added when I ask why)
5. I don't like my stuffies, they're scary. (Starts talking about all the stuffies I should make for her)
6. I don't want Max (her favorite stuffie 5 minutes earlier) to look at me!
7. There's pee in the bed (nope)
8. I want to pee in bed so daddy can smell it! (I don't even...)
9. The bed tickles me!
10. I'm making sheet shoes! (She wrapped her feet in the bed sheet)
11. I'm thirsty!
12. My water is old! (nope, filled her water bottle right before we went to bed)
2 hours. About halfway through I started keeping track of her excuses for future humiliation.
Needless to say, #8 is my favorite.